cross-posted from: https://wolfballs.com/post/8397

The rule seems to go back to Billy Graham, but it is to avoid being alone with a woman or at an event with alcohol with women without the wife of the husband. Something like that.

For example, to put a person in another’s shoes, what if like you had a boyfriend or husband, girlfriend or wife who was taking private lessons from a fitness instructor of the opposite gender. Would you feel comfortable about this arrangement?

To me this is an occasion of sin (in Catholic thought), and maybe an unnecessary occasion of sin in some instances. You can either have a chaperone or one other person around, or just have personal training from a person of the same gender in the example I gave. Otherwise I think being alone with the opposite gender can be a scandal that gives rise to doubts, rumors, and questions.

In modern times it has become very practical for avoiding false accusations or abuse, so I’m not sure how many people don’t do something like this anyway for practical reasons.

What do you think of this rule overall?

sj_zero
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Unless and until the current demonization of men and lionization of women cease, it seems to be just a good personal policy.

It isn’t as important when you’re powerless, but what if you’re powerless today and become powerful tomorrow? Suddenly people who didn’t see a problem being alone with you yesterday can remember things differently because there’s a lawyer whispering sweet nothings in their ear or they’re in a position where harming you will help them.

Speaking from experience, you don’t think this stuff is important until after you’ve got something to lose, and at that point it could be too late.

Sucks, but that’s the bed we’ve made, so we need to sleep in it.

@Spotted_Lady
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I agree.

This point is played out in college entrance and entering politics. Let’s suppose someone makes a video of themselves wearing blackface and calling themselves the N-word. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t condone that or think it is wise. I also don’t consider every use of “blackface” to be racist. Maybe black is your team’s color, you are making a movie about the historical facts of racism, or maybe you are actually trying to transition to another race. I understand that it can be seen as hurtful and should be avoided. It’s funny that it wasn’t much of an issue for some time and then suddenly, the notion that this is offensive in all contexts is shoved down our throats.

I mentioned that to illustrate the problems. I’d argue that it’s unfair to artificially go out of the way to ruin someone’s life over what they said or some stupid video they made while in high school. People should have the right to grow, change, and be rewarded for the effort they put into doing so. Not rewarded in the sense that it somehow rights the original offense or makes it okay, but admired/respected for being willing to confront what is wrong inside.

So prevention is often the best thing one can do. For the example of teens wrecking their futures over some silly/stupid video, the best thing there is strict parents. No, they can’t stop everything, but they can help. For instance, dads should tell their daughters what not to wear. If something the daughter is wearing is helping contribute to dad having impure thoughts, she shouldn’t wear it around stranger guys.

Of course, embarrassing photos and videos might come even from elementary school age. An example was a boy who was in a computer club and got his photo taken with the others in that group. He had no impure thoughts or anything, but he crossed his hands at his waist, not knowing anything could be seen as wrong with that. But the photo ended up being seen as embarrassing by others because some thought he was engaging in masturbatory behavior. And sadly, that is a gender-specific type of issue. Female privates are a little lower and their arms tend to be a little shorter, so girls would have fewer issues of accidental placement or others thinking certain things in this context.

Coming back around to the original, yes, I tend to think that avoiding the appearance of “sin” can go a long ways into protecting one’s reputation and helping reduce such conduct. Someone gave an example of not being willing to enter a bar even if they have a flat tire right outside the place and need to use a phone. They’d wear things to the rims if they had to in order to leave from there and use a phone elsewhere. While that might be going a bit overboard, still, I can see the rationale. First, there is the possible talk, particularly if you take a hard stance against alcohol and then walk into a place where it is consumed on the premises. Then there is the most obvious temptation. If you’re overcoming an addiction to alcohol, and your car is not working, that could turn into an excuse to drink. Then there are the more indirect or lesser-expected temptations. What if you enter a bar and some drunken person grabs you in inappropriate areas? If one is battling adulterous or homosexual urges, that could be a temptation. Plus there can be the really off-the-wall stuff too. Some seem to draw that to them. So you walk into a bar, accidentally bump into someone and they slug you, you defend yourself, and you have a court date coming.

So, while we shouldn’t worship how things look and be superstitious, we should take some care as to how our actions and words may appear later. A verse in the New Testament says to “avoid every appearance of evil.” And sometimes slipping on the appearance standard can be used as an excuse to slip even further. “People already think we’re in bed together, so why can’t we have some fun?”

Rootin4Putin
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Absolutely. It’s about having respect for your SO. Plus it does look bad. It doesn’t take much for people to start talking.

I thought you were talking about the rule that we should shoot Mike Pence on site. I approve of that rule.

As far as not being alone with women outside of your wife (hard to do inside your wife)… that’s a good rule too. Especially if you have any sort of position and power.

Fortunately I don’t.

Rootin4Putin
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I thought you were talking about the rule that we should shoot Mike Pence on site. I approve of that rule.

Dont get our hopes up

@squashkin
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yeah I remembered after posting that the name of Pence has not aged too well…

Masterofballs
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I’m not that religious but Pence looks like if he moves his anus will explode or something. Dude is way to uptight. Half the people in the bible slept with whores, their daughters, their solders wives, had multiple wives , and God still made good examples of all of them. I think it’s ok to relax on this a bit personally.

I like how the Amish live their life though. So idk

Amish have the right idea. They’re going to name the great reset, ‘The great Conversion’

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